Fast And Future Friends: 6-6-11

The Young Ladies Are Busy Tightening the Bond: In one week our daughter will be home, having completed her formal education. Apartment-mates to be, and without anyone’s suggestion, the two young ladies began gearing up for their future together. Age appropriately, they are connecting on Facebook, chatting about boys, and making plans for an outing the first day our daughter is in town. How astute of them to get the ball rolling.

On The Apartment Front:  Meanwhile, their parents are struggling with the housing dilemma. I visited two possibilities today, both a bit shabby. But one worthy of a second look by the other mom. The pressure to find a place is on as the agency has begun to look for residential staffing and needs a “location” to offer as an attraction. I am still wondering exactly what is our responsibility regarding outfitting the apartment. I believe funding within a budget comes from the DDS allocations. We know the rent subsidy figure but not anything else. Worth an inquiry.

Exploratory Phase: The tentative schedule established by our service agency, mentioned in Friday’s post, breaks down to a five-day week, starting July 1 and will be in place until the residential component is completed, the girls moved in and then full staffing will be on board.

Don’t Assume Anything: The staff will put our daughter in a bunch of settings, it appears, getting glimpses of her life skills, vocational potential and social range of interests and talents. Perhaps they will watch her in our home making an omelette; observe her in an animal shelter touching base with a canine; find out if she can finesse a shopping challenge; or interact with her future apartment buddy with some social aplomb. One thing is for sure, never assume anything. Do 21-year-old special needs adults ever shed the “needs” piece?  Though our daughter is maturing, and wowing us with her abilities, I don’t think this is a situation where you let go of the bicycle seat for any length of time and see what happens. Nope. At least not so far.

Use For Others: A friend who had not read my blog on Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time, suggested that it might be too personal to be useful to others. My hope is that the opposite is true. Yes, it is personal and everyone’s path will vary by virtue of their state’s qualifications for need based services; family assets; the individual’s level of functioning and so on. But I believe, though our journey is in just one of the fifty states, with one young lady, and one family’s resources, that there is enough that is similar, to be of service to my comrades out there, those thousands of other parents facing Parenting Adult Special Needs. I hope so.

What Do You Think?

©Jill Edelman, M.S.W., L.C.S.W. 2011

4 Responses to “Fast And Future Friends: 6-6-11”

  1. Ruth

    I think it’s super useful! So long as you are comfortable sharing, keep it up.


  2. Kim

    This is a wonderful, informative and compassionate blog – I have passed it along to others in the disability field. I think it should be published once transition is successfully completed and shared with parents.


    • jilledelmanlcsw

      Dear Kim,

      I am so pleased to read your remarks. The goal is to provide something of a template for others. Thanks so much for passing along the link.


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