2015 has been a year of accomplishment for our daughter. She has been employed at The Prospector Theater three days a week as an usher and gourmet popcorn baker. Her volunteer work at Pegasus’s Rider’s Closet, a charity founded by Georgina Bloomberg, remains a steady once-weekly endeavor of shinning boots and folding riding clothes. She attends music, […]
Ability Beyond Disability
A Small Adjustment With Big Implications: 8-8-13
Who Will Teach Her Now? In a June 2011 post I wrote of my concern that our daughter, having aged out of her school system at 21 years old, would no longer benefit from an academic setting. The areas of significant challenge, time, money and numbers would languish on the vine, leaving that group of […]
Riverview School Two Years Hence: 6-27-13
A Place Where Everyone Knows Your Name: June 14 our daughter and her parents sallied up to Cape Cod to attend Riverview School’s Fifteenth Annual Gala under the castle-like shimmering white tent on the campus in East Sandwich. Except for one sad and brief visit in September of 2011 to attend a memorial for a […]
Trophy Gal, A Note of Hope for Parents & What Friends Don’t Know: 5-23-13
Speeding Through May: This has been a glorious month for our daughter, and there is still another week. She was awarded the “Adult Rider of the Year” award at the 32nd Annual Pegasus Horse Show which was presented by her idol equestrian Georgina Bloomberg, a surprise that nearly blew her helmet off. In early May […]
News Update on Parenting Adult Special Needs: 4-30-13
Two Years Have Past: Two years ago today I wrote this post: Becoming a Consumer: 4-30-11 Admission Paperwork: On Friday, May 6th, our daughter becomes a client of her service agency. The other mother and I are instructed to bring psychological evaluations, documentation of all income sources such as SSI and SSA; Medicaid and social […]
What Should I Wish For? Update on Adult Special Needs
Hurricane Sandy: Strange how the Halloween season has become a natural disaster magnet for the Northeast. Fortunately, our daughter’s Halloween festivities were celebrated prior to Sandy’s hit. She dressed as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, with a toy Toto in a basket and a brown wig perched atop her head, and attended two parties. […]
Shining Boots, Shifting Staff and Book Clubs: 9-25-12
Thirteen Months and Twenty-Four Days: That is how long our daughter has lived in her new home. And today the Ability Beyond Disability team, along with the Connecticut Department of Developmental Services case manager, met with our daughter and her parents for her DDS annual review. The residential coordinator opened up the ceremonies by saying […]
The Red Couch Is A Year Old: 8-9-12
The Red Couch Is A Year Old: The Ability Beyond Disability services manager, mover and shaker of our daughter’s residential component, invited the two moms and the residential staff to lunch to mark a year since the ladies moved into their cozy duplex/CRS (Continuous Residential Support) on August 1 in Ridgefield, Connecticut. The atmosphere and […]
The Busy Life Of A Special Needs Adult: 6-25-12
Swimmingly: In the last six weeks our daughter’s special needs adult life has been going along swimmingly, pun intended. She participated in Connecticut’s Special Olympics aquatic state finals, including spending two nights in a Southern Connecticut State University dormitory. She received a medal for her excellent riding (her “seat” as they call it) at the […]
A Humbling Journey with Warts and Blemishes for All To See: Part 2: 3-27-12
Jeez What An Adjustment: Since our daughter moved into her CRS on August 1, 2011, I have struggled to define the parameters of my role as mother in the new order. The fact that as of July 1, 2012 our daughter has become the responsibility of the State of Connecticut and a client of Ability Beyond […]
A Year’s Journey From All Sides Now: 03-26-12
All Sides Now: There is no easy way to end this series of posts on parenting adult special needs. Do I summarize, itemize, measure growth, anticipate challenge or celebrate accomplishment? Do I thank and applaud or alert and inform? Shouldn’t I be doing all of that? My hope is that I have done all of […]
Closing In On A Year & Building Trust: 3-12-12
March 30, 2011: In a little more than two weeks it will be a year since the first post on Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time. Last week our daughter’s entire team of staff members from ABD (Ability Beyond Disability) and her DDS (Connecticut Department of Developmental Services) case manager sat down […]
Social Graces and Seven Months: 2-27-12
Demo Day: Saturday our family attended “Demo Day” at the Pegasus Equestrian Center in Brewster, New York, where our daughter, along with other students, demonstrated her equine knowledge and skill acquired in their “Horse & Me” winter “unmounted” program. At the stable, each student in her class stood by a horse while they and their […]
Leap Year: 1-30-12
Six Month Review: How symbolic that the Connecticut Department of Developmental Services (DDS) has scheduled our daughter’s six month review on February 29, 2012, Leap Year! It will be six months since the August 1, 2011 move to her apartment in Ridgefield that has become her adult home. Leap indeed. What has transpired in these […]
Medication Rears Its Ugly Head: 1-2-12
The Holiday Season: We had no breakdowns this holiday. Our daughter spent Christmas weekend with us and New Year’s with her apartment-mate and staff and all went swimmingly! Well, almost all. She did have a bit of a setback that confusing Monday post Christmas when transitioning back to her CRS (Continuous Residential Support) life and a […]
Not Checking In: 11-15-11
My Plans: It is 10:30 a.m. and our daughter is at day two of DSO. Last word from her came yesterday afternoon when a 3:24 P.M. text buzzed my way. “My day went well,” followed by a phone chat informing me that she is missing her watch and one doggy patterned sock. Please deliver. So […]
Minds Have Met Before: 11-14-11
Medicaid Mystery: Earlier today after dropping our daughter off at the DSO (her social group program) I swerved west to DSS (Department of Social Services) to inquire in person what was up with the Medicaid issue, after receiving an email from the DDS case manager (Department of Developmental Services) who suggested I contact the DSS […]
Home Heals: 11-13-11
Sunday, A Day Of Rest: Today our daughter is with us. She slept here last night, a good and restful sleep after “The worst week of my life.” It was a rough week, littered with interpersonal ruptures that took their toll with familiar melt downs so characteristic of this time of year, SAD (Seasonal Affective […]
Shaking Things Up: 11-12-11
Friday’s Visit: Yesterday afternoon I stopped by to drop off a check for our daughter’s November recreational costs. Though entitlements fund rent and staffing, food, household goods and Medicaid, (if they finally reinstate her) nothing is left over for costs such as clothes, furnishings, and outings of any kind including movies, the recreation center, Sphere and Pegasus. […]
Is This A Joke? 11-11-11
Gin Rummy: Our daughter’s first day of volunteer work at Ridgefield Crossings was a bust. The senior lady with the cat was out at a dentist appointment when our daughter and her staff escort arrived. So instead of being a “companion” she was asked to play cards with other residents. Gin Rummy. Did anyone read […]
An Off Day: 11-09-11
A Full Moon? Was it the full moon last night? Sure looked and felt that way to me. While on route to my oil change our daughter text me “I’m having an off day.” When I called she greeted me sobbing hysterically. I could barely make out what she was saying but recognized enough words to determine […]
Two Lady Grumps With A Lot To Share: 11-3-11
Senior Residence: Surprise, Surprise, Ridgefield Crossings start date has been delayed another week due to power outage. Still waiting to hear from Roar, postponed last week due to Ringworm. These vocational settings have been fraught with problems, though the trustworthy Complete Cat Clinic has remained steadfast and true so far. Medicaid Update: Looks like the bureaucratic glitch […]
Two Moms Celebrate: 10-26-11
“A Celebration of Ability”: As planned, my husband and I met up after work at the Ability Beyond Disability annual meeting last night, aptly named “A Celebration of Ability.” Neither our daughter nor her apartment-mate attended, though there was an exhibit of their CRS (Continuous Residential Supports) replete with photos of the ladies. But it […]
We’re Getting There: 10-25-11
Patches: Our daughter’s patchwork quilt of an adult future is almost complete. Not a forever kind of complete, for life is always in motion and motion means change. But the last big patch to make up the initial assemblage is that vocational piece and this Friday, our daughter’s first day at ROAR, heralds the successful […]
Spirals Of Anxiety: 10-21-11
Halloween’s Haunt: Every year as the leaves drop and front lawns are bedecked with spider webs, dangling sheeted ghostly figures, and wondrous ghastly creatures, our daughter gets sick. By Halloween night or a few days later on her birthday, she is either on Zithromax (yes we have tried the naturopathic route) or at least Mucinex […]
No Answer, Not Much: 10-20-11
No Answer: I am not sure what activities were scheduled for our daughter’s vocational day today as neither she nor any of her staff have answered my calls. By next week I am hopeful that both placements, ROAR and Ridgefield Crossings will be in place. I know that her ROAR training is scheduled for this Sunday. […]
A Magical Combination & A Swimming Buddy: 10-19-11
Angelfish Rocks: Our daughter apparently had a mighty fine time at her first full-fledged Angelfish swim lesson last evening. Her ABD staff told me she worked well with her new swim buddy, a young gentleman of similar age who welcomed companionship in the pool. I am thrilled. They did laps and jumping jacks and whatever […]
Trouble In Paradise: 10-14-11
Oh Dear: Our daughter called at 9:03 a.m. today. And then again at 9:06. I was working but when I picked up the message at 10:15, it was something like this: “I am having a water problem.” Well, it has been raining fairly steadily for 24 hours so I assume there is a leak in […]
Post-Traumatic Momma; Completing The Quilt: 10-12-11
Sewing It Up: Happily, today I received a call from the ABD vocational director who has finalized the hiring of the missing piece, that vocational staff person whose presence is necessary to complete the quilt of our daughter’s daily adult life. A couple of weeks ago the ladies met her and she now has even […]
Double Negatives and No Plans: 10-11-11
Today’s News: I checked in with our daughter after her DSO (Day Services Option) today to find out how she is feeling. “I’m better.” She had a rough time for a couple of days due to probably just a bouncy ride in the back seat of the staff’s car on windy roads just after eating […]
Patches Missing In The Quilt: 10-09-11
The Vocational Patch: It is now probably six weeks or so since the vocational life skills staff member abruptly left her post, leaving our daughter with only one volunteer job at The Complete Cat Clinic, a placement I had found for her two years ago. The other possibilities, ROAR, the animal shelter, and the senior residence […]
Holes in The PJ’s and Snagged: 9-27-11
Sphere: This was a SPHERE day for our daughter. She and her apartment-mate joined a small number of fellow SPHERE members on a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Normally on a Tuesday she would be at her DSO program but she chose to go on the field trip. I […]
DSS Messes and A Scary Future: 9-19-11
DSS: The Connecticut Department of Social Services, which handles the entitlements of Medicaid and food stamps, has decided to mess with my head in the last week or two. I can imagine how this must feel for folks who are more handicapped, cannot get to the DSS offices, or have few family members to deal […]
Purposeful Blogging, Pass It Along: 9-15-11
Get Started Now: Our daughter has been participating in the Ability Beyond Disability adult program for 2 plus months with the residential piece in place for the last 6 weeks. As I track this transition to independent living with supports, I am mindful that readers who have more recently joined this narrative may not benefit […]
ROAR Follows Up: 9-14-11
Off To The CRS: My daughter has her residential support day today. One of her activities is banking, which at first I heard as baking. She also has a team staff meeting where the young ladies meet with the behaviorist assigned to the CRS (Continuous Residential Supports), the nurse and other staff. I believe they […]
Looking Ahead And Behind: 9-13-11
Full Schedule: Our daughter’s Fall schedule is rich in variety. She has a concert date to see Cobie Caillot, her current favorite, a trip to her alma mater for the memorial service of her school friend, the resumption of her riding class, Pegasus, this Saturday, hopefully new volunteer options including ROAR the animal shelter in […]
A Celebration For The Artists: 9-9-11
Sphere Art Program: The Ridgefield group SPHERE had their end of summer art show last night. Our daughter’s many pieces were displayed including the papier-mâché dog head. She and her apartment-mate greeted us in the Lounsbury House, the 1896 mansion on Main Street that serves as Ridgefield’s elegant community center. SPHERE board members were taking […]
Uggs, No Hugs: 9-8-11
30-Day Review: The meeting yesterday reviewing the first thirty days of adult independent living was a kind of love fest. The conference at Ability Beyond Disability had nine staff members, our daughter and myself. When I walked in at 12:30 our daughter was seated at the table nibbling on a bag of cheese crackers and drinking […]
The Thirty Day Meeting and Temporal Awareness: 9-7-11
Pending Good News: I received a voice mail from the Pegasus people to say that our daughter has a 95% chance of being in the Fall riding program. We will find out Thursday. At 12:30 today the Ability Beyond Disability staff and our DDS case manager meet at an ABD office to discuss the last […]
No Dad’s Paintings Please: 9-6-11
Love Her Spunk: The Ridgefield CRS apartment is a pretty stylish place these days. The residential coordinator picked out an area rug for the living room, a runner for the hall and hung some curtains to soften the noises being emitted from the red couch. Both the coordinator and the other mother, having seen her […]
One Mother Wanted To Schmooze: 9-2-11
The Check In: Thirty minutes after I published yesterday’s post, our daughter called; “Hi.” “Hi Sweetie, how are you?” “Good.” “How was your day?” “Good.” “What did you do?” “Well…” And she went on to describe a trip to the recreation center, time on the treadmill, a visit to Puppy Love, a local pet store, […]
Skunked And Bumped: 8-31-11
Home At Last: At 3 P.M. yesterday our daughter called, joyful the power was on in her Ridgefield apartment so the gal was going home. Whew! Now that was timely, as our son had reached me moments earlier from our house to say our generator was “fried.” Darn, the guys were right, keeping it on […]
A Sticky Visit and To Cry Or Not To Cry: 8-26-11
A Slight Melt: What was to be a quick visit to our daughter’s apartment yesterday evolved into a longer familiar episode in which an array of discomforts and stresses was expressed. The technical aspect of the Facebook issue was resolved prior to my arrival with a defriending. But the emotional aftermath with some spill over […]
Attaining A Rhythm: 8-25-11
Another Pop-In: Our son stopped by his sister’s apartment with a friend yesterday. They all had a blast together, the two young men, our daughter, her apartment-mate and some staff. The apartment offers a great social meeting place. Today I will run over at her request to chat about some “social” issues arising from a […]
Closing In On Fall: 8-22-11
September Schedule: When your children are no longer following a school semester schedule (first time in 21 years for us) and you happen into a Staples or even CVS, busting at the seams with frantic moms and distracted kids racing around with baskets full of notebooks and binders, it comes as a shock. Oh no, […]
Sheer Coincidence and The Personal Pays Off: 8-21-11
Magic: The sheer coincidence of things makes me wonder if readers will think I am writing fiction not fact. But fact it is. Two days ago my focus was on concerns that our daughter’s volunteer job at the cat clinic was ending with no new animal-related work on the horizon and what was my role […]
The Elusive Job Piece: 8-19-11
A Door Closes: The latest news on the volunteer job front is a bit unsettling. The Complete Cat Clinic, a veterinary practice which specializes in the care and breeding of our feline friends, is a small and cozy operation. Dr. Sharon Eisen, the owner and friend, welcomed our daughter’s services over the last few years […]
Expressing Sympathy And A Special Needs Match: 8-18-11
I Am Sorry For Your Loss: Those are the words our daughter wrote, unprompted, on the sympathy card she sent yesterday to her friend’s parents. I was so touched. She added one more sentence, “I miss…” and signed her name. Who taught her those words? I did, the culture did. She absorbs it all, seamlessly, […]
The Night Shift and Supplemental Needs Trusts: 8-17-11
Unrealized Fears: The other mother and I had worries about the nighttime staff. The two women had appeared sleepy and detached at the all-staff introduction only a few short days before the girls moved to their new apartment and alarm bells related to nighttime, new home and strangers in charge rang loud in our maternal […]
Pregnant, Tired Or Fired? Nope Just Gone: 8-12-11
Irony, Life’s Theme Song: I just reread the last paragraph in my 8-8-11 post. The paragraph started with the topic: “I Love This Coach” and ended with a silent prayer. I think you get my drift already. Yes, the coach is gone, poof, as of yesterday. No kidding. Neither pregnant, tired nor fired, she just left. […]
A Date And A Cake: 8-11-11
Celebrating Again: A dear friend and colleague who lives three doors down from our daughter’s apartment visited last evening with her daughter, a cake and a splendid bouquet of yellow flowers. My husband and I escorted the ladies out to a local restaurant where our daughter regaled them with her take on Planet of Apes, […]
A Visit From DDS: 8-10-11
Yesterday’s News: Our outstanding Connecticut Department of Developmental Services case manager visited the young ladies’ apartment yesterday. She sent me an email to express how much she liked the apartment, how happy the girls seem to be and what a wonderful job Ability Beyond Disability has done in fulfilling the record keeping requirements of DDS. […]
A Thumbs Up On Planet of The Apes: 8-8-11
Afternoon Review: As soon as I finished my post yesterday, with the assumption that our daughter was done with me for the day, she called. Back from her movie, and eager to share her impressions, we talked for about forty-five minutes. James Franco rocked, and the ape movie received a thumbs up from someone whose […]
Funding A Life and Some Polo Play: 8-7-11
Polo and Work: Dad reported wonderful things about our daughter’s Pegasus riding yesterday. The students were mimicking polo play, holding foam sticks aimed at balls on cones; even the horses were being trained to nudge the balls off the cones. She trotted, rising high in her saddle, followed by leaning so far forward that a […]
The Quesadilla Maker: 8-6-11
The Redheads Come To Call: One P.M. yesterday, just as advertised, our visitors rang the doorbell at our daughter’s new apartment. Mother and daughter drove 3 plus hours southwest to welcome our daughter to her new home. They came bearing gifts in colorfully wrapped packages, both eager to support our gal’s new life. Our daughter […]
Full Mailbox: 8-5-11
Mom’s Day Out: Mom’s Day Out hit all the right notes. The Frick Collection has many of the great masterpieces I studied on slides decades ago in college. Walking through its majestic rooms with Bellini’s St. Jerome, the Van Dykes, El Grecos and Turners, presumptuous as it sounds, felt like greeting old friends. “Oh there […]
Off To The City, Feeling A Little Giddy: 8-4-11
Facebook Cheering Squad: Before I head off to NYC, I must report that viewing my Facebook page and seeing the comments folks send to my daughter, comments from family, her friends, my friends and her brother’s friends, touches me deeply. I posted photos of the girls’ “installation” into their new abode and the feedback, “love […]
I Like This New Phase: 8-3-11
Dropping By: I like this new phase. Daughter lives twenty minutes away and requests some items. I drive over and drop off the items; we chat, go over her requests, I watch her proudly hang up her chains and bracelets on the jewelry lady stand the staff gave her, and then I leave. Pretty darn […]
Successful Launch: 8-2-11
Celebrating With Balloons and An Earache: Truly all went smoothly yesterday. Aside from an earache, probably swimmers ear (she is being taken to her doctor today by staff, amazing), the move-in was a triumph of coordination and readiness. Seven ABD staff members were present, setting up, cleaning or just greeting our daughter and her apartment-mate […]
A Poignant Passage? 8-1-11
Or She Is Just Growing Up? Our daughter doesn’t seem to be registering this transition as different from her return to boarding school each semester. Nor does her dad. The great leveler of all things emotional, he describes the process as signifying that “She is just growing up.” True, but somehow there is some legality […]
The Chocolate Fountain and Mom’s Cognitive Confusion: 7-31-11
The Summer of Love About To End? Tonight is the final night home…tomorrow’s dawn introduces the new regime. For six weeks our daughter has conducted two on again, off again summer romances via cell phone conversations, Facebook and texting. Once she moves into her apartment new rules apply. This social romp, with no face-to-face encounters […]
Night Time Fears: 7-30-11
A Team of Caretakers: Ability Beyond Disability, our service provider agency, is hoping that the program developed for our daughter and her apartment mate will serve as both a template and a model program in the State. Utilizing the CRS residential category (a Connecticut Department of Developmental Services (DDS) model that translates to Continuous Residential Supports For […]
Bed Made, Now Sleep In It: 7-29-11
Apartment Ready: Yesterday our daughter worked at the Ridgefield Library straightening out the books. She also went swimming with her job coach at the Ridgefield Park and Recreation. All is proceeding beautifully. They then had a brown bag lunch (my daughter makes her bologna sandwich the night before) and came back to the family home. I […]
When Will We See Her Again? 7-27-11
Gulp: Today I spoke with our residential coordinator from ABD who is busy tying up loose ends, training staff and figuring out the Wi-Fi conundrum. I asked her about the move-in day, August 1. “Do we just send her off to her DSO (Day Service Options) at 9 a.m. and then she goes home to her […]
Count Down: 7-26-11
Ready Or Not: I think I am ready for the hand-off. More importantly is our daughter? I think so. I’m beat. But this is not about Mom. This is about our daughter and I think she is ready too. Home is good but it includes a “nagging mom” and nagging moms, at some point, are […]
How Do You Teach Gratitude And Hurrah For The Other Mother: 7-25-11
The Dining Table Deal: While we were blissfully removed from the angst of Wi-Fi and cable installation (not happening) enjoying a weekend by the sea, the other mother was nailing down the rest of the kitchen list and buying the living room television. Brava, Other Mother! And even better, she saw the dining table I […]
Cleaning Sticky Books: 7-22-11
Madam Librarian: Our daughter’s first volunteer day at the Ridgefield Library was less than stellar, from her perspective. Her job was to wipe off the sticky smears left by preschoolers and the like on book covers and pages. To her credit, according to her coach, she did a thorough job. I thought that was grand. […]
Successfully Installed With One Glitch: 7-21-11
Danny and The Truck: Interesting how you can monitor delivery by the moment. Tracker Bob, or whatever it is called, keeps you guessing, but gives you answers. It’s just that they keep changing the answers, up, down and sideways. However, I did install myself in the Ridgefield apartment which joyously has central A.C., with my […]
No Cable, No Move? And Mucho Dinero: 7-20-11
No Kidding: 8:33 P.M. last evening our residential coordinator emailed that installation of the cable Wi-Fi system failed yesterday due to antiquated wiring. Hey, that sounds like me, antiquated wiring and some fraying around the edges. Her staff requires Internet access immediately upon move-in and it wasn’t certain that cable rescheduling with re-wiring is possible […]
The Red Couch: 7-19-11
So Little Time, So Much To Say: This morning, after dropping our daughter off at the Day Services Options program, the other mother and I met with the ABD service manager for DSO programming. What unfolded was most reassuring. My daughter and her future apartment-mate are two members of a newly formed group of 12 young […]
Pots, Pans and New Plans: 7-18-11
Outfitting For Adulthood: Yesterday, the sunny sleepy summer kind of day, our daughter was content to loll around the house, regrouping from a hectic first week of Ability Beyond Disability programming, two very social nights at home, and an energizing yet ultimately enervating sidewalk sales event the previous day. Unfortunately for her, Mom has a […]
Ambiguity Doesn’t Work For Special Needs: 7-17-11
Sleep Overs: While observing our daughter frolicking with family friends, her brother and one of his pals last evening, I began to wonder, when she moves in to her apartment, will we have sleepovers? How does that work? If home is there and home is still kind of here, can she just call and say, “Can […]
Not All Links In The Chain Are The Same: 7-16-11
Incomplete Cat: Yesterday I hit a wall. Our daughter’s day, an “Individualized Day” with a coach who takes her to her volunteer job, was a bomb. First the poor lady got lost coming to the house. Not a biggie. But then the placement, The Complete Cat Clinic in Brookfield, CT, didn’t know they were coming. […]
Staff With Bounce And Mom Bumps: 7-15-11
Playing Catch Up: Wednesday was “Individualized Home Support” day. Since the ladies have not as yet moved into their apartment, the home support consisted of a residential staff person, Melissa, arriving to pick up our daughter so they could spend time getting to know each other. The plan was to take her to the new […]
The Day Ran Away With Me: 7-14-11
Furniture: Though there is much to write about our daughter’s last two days in her program, I will leave that for tomorrow. Today I spent three hours buying bedroom furniture, because I realized at 5 a.m. last Monday, that it was less expensive and more pragmatic than dragging her bedroom here to there. With her […]
Madam Librarian And A Home In Two Towns: 7-13-11
Madam Librarian: At 4 P.M. yesterday, as instructed, I showed up at the Ridgefield Library, located in our daughter’s soon to be new hometown. As most continental Americans know, July 12th, 2011, was one hot day. Our daughter emerged from the library panting much like puppy dog Wags whom I had just left at home. […]
The Pop-In, A Flat Tire But A Decent Day: 7-12-11
The Pop-In: I did do the pop-in at noontime. The little bus was late but off our daughter went to her first day of two-per-week attending a group program at ABD’s Leir Pavillon. Just twenty minutes from our home, I was able to dash over between sessions to observe the Day Support Options, a fairly ambiguous […]
Waiting For The Little Bus, Again? 7-11-11
Deja Vu: It is 8:15 a.m. and our daughter is up, dressed, breakfasted and logged on to Facebook. The Ability Beyond Disability bus is expected any moment. After a five-year absence, and no longing for its return, I can’t believe the little bus will be coming up the drive again. So many memories of little […]
When Something New Is Ventured And A Horse Named Milos: 7-10-11
Pegasus: Yesterday our daughter resumed her career in horseback riding in a pristine arena followed by a trail ride under a soft blue sky. She rode Milos, a grass-eating, somewhat distracted brown horse. She proudly sat tall in her saddle, monitoring her posture, which was one of her two stated goals, the other being staying […]
Make It Even: 7-1-11
Televisions, Telephone, Wi-Fi & What Else: Ability Beyond Disability went into the young ladies’ apartment yesterday to begin the installation of Wi-Fi. Our service coordinator called to ask if our daughter would want cable in her bedroom. My preference is no. She does not have a television in her bedroom now, and with her laptop […]
One A.M. Bedtime and Visiting Gaudi: 6-28-11
Late Nights, Long Phone Calls: Two weeks into our daughter’s vacation, two weeks short of the onset of programming, and the regression begins. This translates into 1:00 A.M. plus bedtime, hours on her cell with a young man northeast of here (this social contact is the good news), and resistance to “taking a walk” for […]
A Flip of a Coin and The Illusion of Permanence: 6-26-11
So Far So Easy: The new apartment has one large bedroom, clearly the master, with two fairly spacious closets. The other bedroom is a good size with a small closet. This could be a real challenge for two young ladies to come to terms with, but not our gals. At least not initially. A coin […]
Buying Underwear At The Mall: 6-25-11
My Heart Swelled: Yesterday was a pretty femme day, haircuts and two trips to Victoria’s Secret at the mall, the first at our daughter’s request to purchase undies with some graduation money. The second to buy a gift for a cousin, another Victoria fan. As we entered Victoria’s chambers, a patient rang me on the cell, […]
Who Will Teach Her Now? 6-23-11
What Will Happen With Money, Time and Measurement Issues? At our meeting two days ago with the service agency, Ability Beyond Disability, I brought out one of those refrigerator-size white 3-ring binders labeled “Career Portfolio” that Riverview/Grow and our daughter have assembled over two years. The contents include her vocational evaluations from Project Forward where […]
Parents Search For The Best Package: 6-22-11
One Size Does Not Fit All: Our family’s journey to find a suitable adult life for our daughter involved very specific steps from identifying need at an early age with the Department of Developmental Services, fulfilling eligibility requirements for SSI and Medicaid at eighteen, guardianship, and getting our DDS case manager actively involved in finding […]
Tighten The Purse Strings and A New Peer Group: 6-21-11
A Glimpse At The Future: The Ability Beyond Disability team members responsible for staffing and planning the individualized day program visited our home this morning. A portion of the time was spent interviewing our daughter on her interests, social and vocational strengths and weaknesses and signing forms. We were also provided with an overview of her week […]
Giving Away The Bride: 6-17-11
Bittersweet: In conversation yesterday with our service coordinator regarding funding, we reviewed what monies would jeopardize our daughter’s qualifications for the government programs she is now receiving. A burial plan was mentioned, which she doesn’t have, but the words went through my veins like ice water. Wow, haven’t gone there before. The mere mention of […]
OMG We Got The Apartment, I Think: 6-14-11
Busy First Day Of Adult Phase 1: Our daughter had her lunch meeting with future apartment mate and six ABD team members yesterday at the Olive Garden. The other mother was working so when I showed up with our daughter, the team asked me if I wanted to stay (I didn’t) but I bowed to our […]
The Blossom Award: 6-13-11
All Graduated And Ready For Adulthood, Phase 1: A soggy but sentimental and satisfying Riverview graduation weekend is over. Our little graduate, Grow class of 2011, was awarded the Blossom award for …blossoming this year, into a pretty powerful, ever curious and learning young adult female. A conglomerate of 19 family members, from both sides […]
Off To Graduation Weekend: 6-10-11
Suspense: The other mother and I put in our bid for the modern apartment. Alas, someone else made an offer as well. The owner has to decide which offer to take. We won’t find out until later today. I will be on the road by then, and hope to reach our daughter’s school campus by […]
The Apartment Challenge Continues: 6-9-11
Does It Take A Village To Find An Apartment? What was viewed as a no-brainer a couple of months ago, finding a two-bedroom apartment in the desired complex, is now a daunting task. We have spread our search to other apartment complexes and buildings. The other mother and I, our realtor and the service manager […]
On The Brink Of An Apartment: 6-8-11
Victorian: The other mother went over to check out this apartment I saw on Monday in a Victorian house within walking distance of Main Street. This might work. Spacious rooms, bathed in sunlight, expansive porch and the police station around the corner. It is an authentic Victorian which means a bit old fashion and a […]
Home For Ever: 6-3-11
“Hey Jill its __I am now home for ever:” This was the message on my Facebook Wall from our daughter’s future apartment mate yesterday. After eight years away at her boarding school, she has returned to resume/begin her new life in her hometown. The joy inherent in those few words is palpable. In a week […]
Momentum Building, It Must Be June: 6-1-11
June Is Busting Out All Over: Looks like the word is out. I am not sitting on my hands nor is anyone else. The Services Manager at ABD (Ability Beyond Disability) called to let me know she is hard at work. A lady after my own heart, she informed me that she likes to get […]
Closing In On Aging Out: 5-21-11
Funding Approval: Yesterday we received word that our daughter’s future apartment mate received DDS approval to fund her part of their shared staffing requirements. This was the final patch needed for that section of the crazy quilt of future planning. Finalizing The Goodbyes: Monday we have the final PPT with our school district. Participating in […]
Special Needs and The White House: 5-20-11
David and Susan Axelrod: Even the White House knows special needs. While away for six days with my husband, I watched Piers Morgan on CNN interview David Axelrod, President Obama’s former senior advisor and primary campaign strategist. David and his wife Susan Landau are parents of a “special needs” daughter, now in her late twenties, […]