SPHERE, a non-profit that provides programming for adults with intellectual disabilities in the Ridgefield, Connecticut area, celebrates its thirtieth anniversary on November 4, 2017. The anniversary provides an opportunity to tell the story of a successful and enduring coming together of families and community to enhance the lives of adults with disabilities, and, in doing […]
independent living
The Reflex To Protect Meets The Need To Emboldened: Pushing the Envelope of Adult Employment
At many points while raising children, we come to crossroads where directional choice is complicated, when a parent’s impulse to protect their child collides with the necessity of launching their offspring into adulthood. Parents of children with disabilities have a particular challenge at these crossroads because by definition these children are more vulnerable than […]
The Power of Meaningful Employment – 1/29/15
Our twenty-five-year-old special needs daughter returned to her parents’ home to spend the latest N.E. snowstorm. We have a generator. Two days of cooking, watching The Big Bang Theory and The Fault in Our Stars and generally hanging out went swimmingly. The bedtime hour and wake up call on the last night and following morning […]
Employed! And Some Tips: 11-4-14
It has been ten months since I posted on our daughter’s adult life. In a few days she will be twenty-five years of age. And while I am counting, it is three years and four plus months since she returned to her home state to begin her special needs adulthood. What our daughter has accomplished […]
A Mother Reflects: Daughter With Special Needs Surpasses Doctors’ Predictions (from NYMetroParents)
My following post was first published as an article in NY Metro Parents on March 24, 2014. (Click here to read it on NYMetroParents.com) Our 24-year-old daughter lives in a two-bedroom apartment, 15 minutes from our home, with another young woman and staff supervision. She has two volunteer jobs and one paying job. Her volunteer […]
Unbridled Joy, Some Ick And A Great Cocktail: 12-17-13
Twenty-Four and She’s So Much More: Three months have passed since I posted on our daughter’s adult life. And the reason rests in the paws of our new puppy Tillie, whose own developmental stages have usurped much of my writing time with her walking, leaping, nipping and general mayhem-ing. Across town our daughter is developing […]
Life Is A Horse Show: 9-19-13
Catching Up: Our daughter’s life is streaming live with new peace and purpose. Just in the last week, patches of the quilt that I have dreamed of for years are now in place. The first, that she would find a venue to inspire her to resume creating the amazing collages which I used as illustrations […]
News Update on Parenting Adult Special Needs: 4-30-13
Two Years Have Past: Two years ago today I wrote this post: Becoming a Consumer: 4-30-11 Admission Paperwork: On Friday, May 6th, our daughter becomes a client of her service agency. The other mother and I are instructed to bring psychological evaluations, documentation of all income sources such as SSI and SSA; Medicaid and social […]
Special Needs Elf & A Fire Disaster Averted: 12-6-12
An Ashy Pall: My daughter allocated Monday as her Christmas shopping with mom day. I showed up at the apartment almost on time and saw that the staff mini-van had not returned from dropping the apartment-mate at the DSO. Since I am on the lease and have the key, I entered the apartment. Just as […]
What Should I Wish For? Update on Adult Special Needs
Hurricane Sandy: Strange how the Halloween season has become a natural disaster magnet for the Northeast. Fortunately, our daughter’s Halloween festivities were celebrated prior to Sandy’s hit. She dressed as Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, with a toy Toto in a basket and a brown wig perched atop her head, and attended two parties. […]
The Red Couch Is A Year Old: 8-9-12
The Red Couch Is A Year Old: The Ability Beyond Disability services manager, mover and shaker of our daughter’s residential component, invited the two moms and the residential staff to lunch to mark a year since the ladies moved into their cozy duplex/CRS (Continuous Residential Support) on August 1 in Ridgefield, Connecticut. The atmosphere and […]
Mom, I Know I Was Born With Eggs: Parenting Adult Special Needs One Month At A Time
Checking In: More than six weeks have gone by since I last posted on our daughter’s adult special needs life, and a busy six weeks indeed. During that time our twenty-two-year old daughter started a new volunteer job at Best Friends in Norwalk, an animal daycare and grooming center, and continued her two other vocational […]
Closing In On A Year & Building Trust: 3-12-12
March 30, 2011: In a little more than two weeks it will be a year since the first post on Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time. Last week our daughter’s entire team of staff members from ABD (Ability Beyond Disability) and her DDS (Connecticut Department of Developmental Services) case manager sat down […]
Heading To The Dog Show: 2-13-12
Westminster Here We Come, Woof Woof: Today our daughter and I head to Madison Square Garden in New York City to see the 136th annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show, a long awaited second visit to this country’s pre-eminent canine competition. And we are psyched. Our daughter has already previewed the Monday night line up […]
The Artichoke: 12-12-11
Update: Our daughter’s past week of adult living has been a hearty combination of successful vocational programming, physical activity and social fun. Actually, I didn’t see the gal from our brief interlude last Monday until Sunday evening, though we texted and talked. She swam with Angelfish, sang with SPHERE, cleaned and combed cats at ROAR […]
Phase ll Of Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Week At A Time
Back To Business: A full week away from writing my blog has been strange indeed. Though the time was bathed in the joys of turkey grease, sweet potato skins, family fun and amazing Fall weather, I do enjoy being back at the keyboard. A daily ritual was absent and no surprise that the experience was […]
A Hairbrush, Forgiveness and Natalie Wood: 11-19-11
Happy Birthday To Grandpa: If our daughter’s maternal grandfather were alive today, he would be 101 years old. Wow. Our children never met either of my parents but their presence is felt by my children in my presence as their parent. Happy Birthday to you Dad. A Wake Up Call With Horses: My iPhone showed […]
Coffee Grinds: The Sequel 11-16-11
Spill Over Into Wednesday: I regrouped, or so I thought, from yesterday’s weariness only to find this morning that my coffee filter was gone. Guess how? Yep, when I emptied the filter onto the Fed Ex envelope that I mindlessly threw into the garbage, the filter went in too. Pretty concrete way to measure exhaustion. […]
Shaking Things Up: 11-12-11
Friday’s Visit: Yesterday afternoon I stopped by to drop off a check for our daughter’s November recreational costs. Though entitlements fund rent and staffing, food, household goods and Medicaid, (if they finally reinstate her) nothing is left over for costs such as clothes, furnishings, and outings of any kind including movies, the recreation center, Sphere and Pegasus. […]
Is This A Joke? 11-11-11
Gin Rummy: Our daughter’s first day of volunteer work at Ridgefield Crossings was a bust. The senior lady with the cat was out at a dentist appointment when our daughter and her staff escort arrived. So instead of being a “companion” she was asked to play cards with other residents. Gin Rummy. Did anyone read […]
The Senior, The Cat and The Daughter: 11-10-11
Ridgefield Crossings: It is a beautiful day in the neighborhood, burnt orange leaves glisten with gemstone rain drops outside my office window, framed by streaks of blue, grey and white sky and our daughter is off to her new volunteer job. Hurrah. Fingers crossed, the senior, the cat and the daughter get along. Is the […]
An Off Day: 11-09-11
A Full Moon? Was it the full moon last night? Sure looked and felt that way to me. While on route to my oil change our daughter text me “I’m having an off day.” When I called she greeted me sobbing hysterically. I could barely make out what she was saying but recognized enough words to determine […]
Oil Change: 11-08-11
Coming Attractions: Today I am off to get an oil change, 20,000 miles plus on my new Toyota Venza, purchased a year ago on our daughter’s 21 birthday, November 4, and it seems appropriate to my state of mind. I am a bit burned out by birthday celebrations, storms and sickness and look forward to a […]
Humor, The Antidote: 11-07-11
The Two O’clock Hour: Our daughter went to sleep at two in the morning after Friday night’s birthday. Though evening staff has a role to ensure that the girls shut off cell phones and laptops by 10 P.M. to enable them to wind down for a decent night’s sleep, somehow our daughter managed to keep […]
We Are So “P” of You: 11-5-11
A Run Down On The Cats: During our ride back from the birthday dinner/shopping celebration last evening, our daughter described her work at The Complete Cat Clinic earlier that day. She spoke of Elwin Nelson, Mocha and Coco. Elwin Nelson is white with brown patches, a male and “adorable.” Coco is a cat whom our daughter […]
Super Giggles: 11-04-11
No Roar, Yet Giggles: Today is our daughter’s twenty-second birthday. I called her this morning and sang “happy birthday to you” with some silliness added on. She exploded in giggles, which sent waves of joy through the phone line to me. Excited much? You bet. And today was to be her second “first day” volunteering […]
Two Lady Grumps With A Lot To Share: 11-3-11
Senior Residence: Surprise, Surprise, Ridgefield Crossings start date has been delayed another week due to power outage. Still waiting to hear from Roar, postponed last week due to Ringworm. These vocational settings have been fraught with problems, though the trustworthy Complete Cat Clinic has remained steadfast and true so far. Medicaid Update: Looks like the bureaucratic glitch […]
Coming Up On 22: 11-2-11
Birthday Girl: Two days from today our daughter celebrates her twenty-second birthday, which will be marked by a variety of events including attending theater in Waterbury, Connecticut to see “In The Heights” and a trip to the Vera Bradley store at the Westfarms Mall. Bass Player Pal: Her brother and his boyfriend are coming up […]
Medicaid Mix-Up But Power! 11-01-11
Waiver Whatever: I took our daughter to her doctor and ran into a bunch of bureaucratic glitches that broke my spirit for the moment. Unfortunately my condition was frightfully contagious and my poor daughter caught it. Bored Yet? Not to belabor the boring, of which I am often guilty, the Doc’s prescription for an antibiotic […]
Ringworm! 10-28-11
Really? I stopped by our daughter’s apartment yesterday afternoon to drop off some Halloween costume options and a bunch of winter wear, only to find out that her first day as an official ROAR volunteer, scheduled for today, had been cancelled due to cases of ringworm found among the animals. How Ironic: Apparently our daughter handled […]
Pulling Back? 10-27-11
I Wonder: Is the new season of Special Needs Adult Living upon us? Is it time for me to pull back a bit? I would like to think so. The vigilance of the last almost three months since the ladies moved into their apartment (August 1) is time-consuming and my extensive email correspondence with the […]
Two Moms Celebrate: 10-26-11
“A Celebration of Ability”: As planned, my husband and I met up after work at the Ability Beyond Disability annual meeting last night, aptly named “A Celebration of Ability.” Neither our daughter nor her apartment-mate attended, though there was an exhibit of their CRS (Continuous Residential Supports) replete with photos of the ladies. But it […]
Tender Care: 10-22-11
TLC: Last evening hubby and I stopped by our daughter’s apartment after work to deliver her Vogue Magazine, The Quarterboard, Riverview School’s newsletter which included a photo of our daughter, and her Mucinex D. The young lady was watching the movie Julie and Julia, seated on her red couch in her pink Susan G. Komen sweat […]
Spirals Of Anxiety: 10-21-11
Halloween’s Haunt: Every year as the leaves drop and front lawns are bedecked with spider webs, dangling sheeted ghostly figures, and wondrous ghastly creatures, our daughter gets sick. By Halloween night or a few days later on her birthday, she is either on Zithromax (yes we have tried the naturopathic route) or at least Mucinex […]
A Magical Combination & A Swimming Buddy: 10-19-11
Angelfish Rocks: Our daughter apparently had a mighty fine time at her first full-fledged Angelfish swim lesson last evening. Her ABD staff told me she worked well with her new swim buddy, a young gentleman of similar age who welcomed companionship in the pool. I am thrilled. They did laps and jumping jacks and whatever […]
More Than One Mother: 10-15-11
Cozy Comfort: Last evening I dropped by our daughter’s apartment to deliver her dog magazine and a Pegasus announcement of a pumpkin-carving party next weekend, and while there, was able to take the pulse on her mood after her “misunderstanding” with a staff member. She looked great, was having popcorn and watching a movie with […]
Trouble In Paradise: 10-14-11
Oh Dear: Our daughter called at 9:03 a.m. today. And then again at 9:06. I was working but when I picked up the message at 10:15, it was something like this: “I am having a water problem.” Well, it has been raining fairly steadily for 24 hours so I assume there is a leak in […]
What, No Cheesecake? 10-13-11
Restaurant Review: Our daughter went out last night with her apartment-mate and family to celebrate the young lady’s birthday, destination Cheesecake Factory. As food is a primary passion for our daughter, I was eager to get the inside track on the meal, especially the cheesecake. I checked in on the young ladies as they were […]
Post-Traumatic Momma; Completing The Quilt: 10-12-11
Sewing It Up: Happily, today I received a call from the ABD vocational director who has finalized the hiring of the missing piece, that vocational staff person whose presence is necessary to complete the quilt of our daughter’s daily adult life. A couple of weeks ago the ladies met her and she now has even […]
Double Negatives and No Plans: 10-11-11
Today’s News: I checked in with our daughter after her DSO (Day Services Option) today to find out how she is feeling. “I’m better.” She had a rough time for a couple of days due to probably just a bouncy ride in the back seat of the staff’s car on windy roads just after eating […]
Join Their World: 10/10/11
100 Years Of Peter Pan: Today’s New York Times Op Ed section had a piece written by Maria Tatar, chairman of Harvard’s folklore and mythology program who reminded us all that this week Wendy and Peter are one hundred years of age. In my opinion, one hundred wonderful years for those of us who fell in […]
Patches Missing In The Quilt: 10-09-11
The Vocational Patch: It is now probably six weeks or so since the vocational life skills staff member abruptly left her post, leaving our daughter with only one volunteer job at The Complete Cat Clinic, a placement I had found for her two years ago. The other possibilities, ROAR, the animal shelter, and the senior residence […]
Sequined Skirt and Silver Shimmer Shirt: 10-08-11
Bundled Day: Today we are bundling Pegasus with mall shopping and Yom Kippur break-fast in NYC. So far, so good. After meeting at riding, my daughter and I went on a mission to purchase party shoes (no small challenge as she needs flats with straps), jeans and cords (equally challenging as she wears petites which […]
Part of The Process, Not The Solution: 10-7-11
Epilogue: Last evening at 9:15 I called my daughter’s cell phone to find out how her SPHERE rehearsal went, and if she felt O.K. about being there. As there was no answer, I called the CRS (Continuous Support Services) apartment phone line, knowing the staff person likely would answer. And she did. Her first words […]
A Times Square Gal: 10-05-11
New York, New York: We are heading in to NYC to see “Anything Goes” today. Our daughter and I. We are frequent attendees of the Times Square area, going back to her first Broadway show, which I think was, “Once Upon A Mattress” with Sarah Jessica Parker, (or maybe “The King and I” with Donna […]
Entitlements? Well Maybe Not For Long: 10-04-11
Our Children’s Future: This YouTube video link was sent to me by a dear friend. She posted it on her Facebook page. I did the same. The young lady featured in the video, Kira Fisher, speaks eloquently about her future concerns regarding her struggles with government funding and maintaining a life of self-respect and productivity. […]
The Mayor’s Daughter, Some Dogs, A Mini-Melt: 10-02-11
Pissarro’s Family Tree: Yesterday my husband and I visited The Clark Art Institute on the campus of Williams College in Massachusetts. Viewing the Camille Pissarro exhibit, I thought often of our daughter and missed her by my side. She would have been fascinated by works both of his dying daughter and his dying mother; in […]
Oldies but Goodies: Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time
Jill is taking a break from her daily posts tonight and tomorrow night, so since it’s Rosh Hashanah and the start of a new year, we thought it was a great time to revisit the very first Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time post from March 30, 2011. Excerpt: Your Child Is […]
Witch/Which Mother? 9-28-11
Witch Mother Makes An Appearance: Today is a grey, wet, merciless looking day. It started out decently between my daughter and me. I met her at the apartment with the intent to shop for PJ’s. The new furniture, ottoman and two side tables, fits like a glove. No problem, no defects. But my daughter’s room […]
Holes in The PJ’s and Snagged: 9-27-11
Sphere: This was a SPHERE day for our daughter. She and her apartment-mate joined a small number of fellow SPHERE members on a visit to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City. Normally on a Tuesday she would be at her DSO program but she chose to go on the field trip. I […]
An Oblong Moon and Courage: 9-18-11
A Revelation of Relief: Driving home from Ridgefield after dropping our daughter off following the movie “The Help” I saw this oblong moon in the sky. It was formed by an unusual arrangement of clouds framing its intense orb. Folks clearly had their first Fall fires burning in fireplaces and the car registered 50 degrees […]
A Date With A Lady: 9-17-11
Bouncing and Beaming: This morning I met our daughter at the Pegasus Equestrian Center in Brewster, New York for the first class of her Fall program. The only female amongst five members, the group were of similar ages, one young man already living in a group home in Norwalk, Connecticut, managed by the service agency Star. […]
Purposeful Blogging, Pass It Along: 9-15-11
Get Started Now: Our daughter has been participating in the Ability Beyond Disability adult program for 2 plus months with the residential piece in place for the last 6 weeks. As I track this transition to independent living with supports, I am mindful that readers who have more recently joined this narrative may not benefit […]
ROAR Follows Up: 9-14-11
Off To The CRS: My daughter has her residential support day today. One of her activities is banking, which at first I heard as baking. She also has a team staff meeting where the young ladies meet with the behaviorist assigned to the CRS (Continuous Residential Supports), the nurse and other staff. I believe they […]
Looking Ahead And Behind: 9-13-11
Full Schedule: Our daughter’s Fall schedule is rich in variety. She has a concert date to see Cobie Caillot, her current favorite, a trip to her alma mater for the memorial service of her school friend, the resumption of her riding class, Pegasus, this Saturday, hopefully new volunteer options including ROAR the animal shelter in […]
How Smart Is Humor: 9-10-11
A Necessary Balance: I had to cancel our UGGS (boots) shopping yesterday. Rescheduled for next Saturday due to a previous commitment to my husband to head down to Cape May Point, New Jersey if the weather were good. And so it was. Our daughter handled the delay well but I didn’t. I felt that I […]
Uggs, No Hugs: 9-8-11
30-Day Review: The meeting yesterday reviewing the first thirty days of adult independent living was a kind of love fest. The conference at Ability Beyond Disability had nine staff members, our daughter and myself. When I walked in at 12:30 our daughter was seated at the table nibbling on a bag of cheese crackers and drinking […]
The Thirty Day Meeting and Temporal Awareness: 9-7-11
Pending Good News: I received a voice mail from the Pegasus people to say that our daughter has a 95% chance of being in the Fall riding program. We will find out Thursday. At 12:30 today the Ability Beyond Disability staff and our DDS case manager meet at an ABD office to discuss the last […]
No Dad’s Paintings Please: 9-6-11
Love Her Spunk: The Ridgefield CRS apartment is a pretty stylish place these days. The residential coordinator picked out an area rug for the living room, a runner for the hall and hung some curtains to soften the noises being emitted from the red couch. Both the coordinator and the other mother, having seen her […]
One Mother Wanted To Schmooze: 9-2-11
The Check In: Thirty minutes after I published yesterday’s post, our daughter called; “Hi.” “Hi Sweetie, how are you?” “Good.” “How was your day?” “Good.” “What did you do?” “Well…” And she went on to describe a trip to the recreation center, time on the treadmill, a visit to Puppy Love, a local pet store, […]
No Power, No Water, No Daughter: 9-1-11
September Morn: New England loves September. It is our return to clarity of mornings, yellow buses huffing and puffing fumes up steep hills (delayed by Irene’s iron club) the Mark Twain Library Book Fair (Twain lived and died in our Redding woods, founding his eponymous library during his two year stay). It is all a […]
Skunked And Bumped: 8-31-11
Home At Last: At 3 P.M. yesterday our daughter called, joyful the power was on in her Ridgefield apartment so the gal was going home. Whew! Now that was timely, as our son had reached me moments earlier from our house to say our generator was “fried.” Darn, the guys were right, keeping it on […]
Yearning For Return: 8-30-11
Disruptive Despite The Fun: These are hairy times in so much of our area. Though I find consolation in the continuous party atmosphere, reassuring myself that though our daughter’s been dislocated from her new home, she is enjoying the adventure, in fact she is yearning to return to “my cozy little apartment and my apartment-mate.” […]
She’s Back: 8-29-11
The Empty Red Couch: Irene brought our daughter home. Irene, the hurricane of 2011 who will go down in East Coast history as a late summer mini-series of dramatic proportions, exerted her force on many a family unit. In our case, she imposed significant bonding momentum in our circle of immediate family and neighborhood friends. […]
A Very Social Storm: 8-28-11
We Bailed: The vote was unanimous, five in favor of boarding the 1:30 ferry yesterday bound for Bridgeport, Connecticut, a smooth crossing indeed. After stops for food, including a local farm replete in pigs, blueberries and an amazing flax seed bread, we reached home. Our son made his original wheat berry beef stew, inviting his […]
A Sticky Visit and To Cry Or Not To Cry: 8-26-11
A Slight Melt: What was to be a quick visit to our daughter’s apartment yesterday evolved into a longer familiar episode in which an array of discomforts and stresses was expressed. The technical aspect of the Facebook issue was resolved prior to my arrival with a defriending. But the emotional aftermath with some spill over […]
Attaining A Rhythm: 8-25-11
Another Pop-In: Our son stopped by his sister’s apartment with a friend yesterday. They all had a blast together, the two young men, our daughter, her apartment-mate and some staff. The apartment offers a great social meeting place. Today I will run over at her request to chat about some “social” issues arising from a […]
Closing In On Fall: 8-22-11
September Schedule: When your children are no longer following a school semester schedule (first time in 21 years for us) and you happen into a Staples or even CVS, busting at the seams with frantic moms and distracted kids racing around with baskets full of notebooks and binders, it comes as a shock. Oh no, […]
The Elusive Job Piece: 8-19-11
A Door Closes: The latest news on the volunteer job front is a bit unsettling. The Complete Cat Clinic, a veterinary practice which specializes in the care and breeding of our feline friends, is a small and cozy operation. Dr. Sharon Eisen, the owner and friend, welcomed our daughter’s services over the last few years […]
Expressing Sympathy And A Special Needs Match: 8-18-11
I Am Sorry For Your Loss: Those are the words our daughter wrote, unprompted, on the sympathy card she sent yesterday to her friend’s parents. I was so touched. She added one more sentence, “I miss…” and signed her name. Who taught her those words? I did, the culture did. She absorbs it all, seamlessly, […]
The Night Shift and Supplemental Needs Trusts: 8-17-11
Unrealized Fears: The other mother and I had worries about the nighttime staff. The two women had appeared sleepy and detached at the all-staff introduction only a few short days before the girls moved to their new apartment and alarm bells related to nighttime, new home and strangers in charge rang loud in our maternal […]
A Condolence And Busy Being Neighbors: 8-16-11
Neighbors: This is a unique chapter indeed. Prior to boarding school, which began when our daughter was sixteen, she spent most of her time out of school with her parents. In the last five years, ten months of the school year and five weeks in the summer our daughter lived four hours away, eight total round […]
A Trot And A Halt: 8-13-11
Pegasus Summer: Sadly, our daughter’s summer riding program ended this morning. She trotted, halted and went on a trail ride displaying balance, focus and progress beyond my expectations. Much is due to her awesome instructor, Liz Fortis. Though on the waiting list for Pegasus’ Fall program, our daughter will definitely attend the winter “unmounted” program […]
Pregnant, Tired Or Fired? Nope Just Gone: 8-12-11
Irony, Life’s Theme Song: I just reread the last paragraph in my 8-8-11 post. The paragraph started with the topic: “I Love This Coach” and ended with a silent prayer. I think you get my drift already. Yes, the coach is gone, poof, as of yesterday. No kidding. Neither pregnant, tired nor fired, she just left. […]
A Date And A Cake: 8-11-11
Celebrating Again: A dear friend and colleague who lives three doors down from our daughter’s apartment visited last evening with her daughter, a cake and a splendid bouquet of yellow flowers. My husband and I escorted the ladies out to a local restaurant where our daughter regaled them with her take on Planet of Apes, […]
A Visit From DDS: 8-10-11
Yesterday’s News: Our outstanding Connecticut Department of Developmental Services case manager visited the young ladies’ apartment yesterday. She sent me an email to express how much she liked the apartment, how happy the girls seem to be and what a wonderful job Ability Beyond Disability has done in fulfilling the record keeping requirements of DDS. […]
A Thumbs Up On Planet of The Apes: 8-8-11
Afternoon Review: As soon as I finished my post yesterday, with the assumption that our daughter was done with me for the day, she called. Back from her movie, and eager to share her impressions, we talked for about forty-five minutes. James Franco rocked, and the ape movie received a thumbs up from someone whose […]
Funding A Life and Some Polo Play: 8-7-11
Polo and Work: Dad reported wonderful things about our daughter’s Pegasus riding yesterday. The students were mimicking polo play, holding foam sticks aimed at balls on cones; even the horses were being trained to nudge the balls off the cones. She trotted, rising high in her saddle, followed by leaning so far forward that a […]
Full Mailbox: 8-5-11
Mom’s Day Out: Mom’s Day Out hit all the right notes. The Frick Collection has many of the great masterpieces I studied on slides decades ago in college. Walking through its majestic rooms with Bellini’s St. Jerome, the Van Dykes, El Grecos and Turners, presumptuous as it sounds, felt like greeting old friends. “Oh there […]
Off To The City, Feeling A Little Giddy: 8-4-11
Facebook Cheering Squad: Before I head off to NYC, I must report that viewing my Facebook page and seeing the comments folks send to my daughter, comments from family, her friends, my friends and her brother’s friends, touches me deeply. I posted photos of the girls’ “installation” into their new abode and the feedback, “love […]
I Like This New Phase: 8-3-11
Dropping By: I like this new phase. Daughter lives twenty minutes away and requests some items. I drive over and drop off the items; we chat, go over her requests, I watch her proudly hang up her chains and bracelets on the jewelry lady stand the staff gave her, and then I leave. Pretty darn […]
A Poignant Passage? 8-1-11
Or She Is Just Growing Up? Our daughter doesn’t seem to be registering this transition as different from her return to boarding school each semester. Nor does her dad. The great leveler of all things emotional, he describes the process as signifying that “She is just growing up.” True, but somehow there is some legality […]
The Chocolate Fountain and Mom’s Cognitive Confusion: 7-31-11
The Summer of Love About To End? Tonight is the final night home…tomorrow’s dawn introduces the new regime. For six weeks our daughter has conducted two on again, off again summer romances via cell phone conversations, Facebook and texting. Once she moves into her apartment new rules apply. This social romp, with no face-to-face encounters […]
Night Time Fears: 7-30-11
A Team of Caretakers: Ability Beyond Disability, our service provider agency, is hoping that the program developed for our daughter and her apartment mate will serve as both a template and a model program in the State. Utilizing the CRS residential category (a Connecticut Department of Developmental Services (DDS) model that translates to Continuous Residential Supports For […]
Bed Made, Now Sleep In It: 7-29-11
Apartment Ready: Yesterday our daughter worked at the Ridgefield Library straightening out the books. She also went swimming with her job coach at the Ridgefield Park and Recreation. All is proceeding beautifully. They then had a brown bag lunch (my daughter makes her bologna sandwich the night before) and came back to the family home. I […]
When Will We See Her Again? 7-27-11
Gulp: Today I spoke with our residential coordinator from ABD who is busy tying up loose ends, training staff and figuring out the Wi-Fi conundrum. I asked her about the move-in day, August 1. “Do we just send her off to her DSO (Day Service Options) at 9 a.m. and then she goes home to her […]
The Red Couch: 7-19-11
So Little Time, So Much To Say: This morning, after dropping our daughter off at the Day Services Options program, the other mother and I met with the ABD service manager for DSO programming. What unfolded was most reassuring. My daughter and her future apartment-mate are two members of a newly formed group of 12 young […]
Ambiguity Doesn’t Work For Special Needs: 7-17-11
Sleep Overs: While observing our daughter frolicking with family friends, her brother and one of his pals last evening, I began to wonder, when she moves in to her apartment, will we have sleepovers? How does that work? If home is there and home is still kind of here, can she just call and say, “Can […]
Staff With Bounce And Mom Bumps: 7-15-11
Playing Catch Up: Wednesday was “Individualized Home Support” day. Since the ladies have not as yet moved into their apartment, the home support consisted of a residential staff person, Melissa, arriving to pick up our daughter so they could spend time getting to know each other. The plan was to take her to the new […]
The Pop-In, A Flat Tire But A Decent Day: 7-12-11
The Pop-In: I did do the pop-in at noontime. The little bus was late but off our daughter went to her first day of two-per-week attending a group program at ABD’s Leir Pavillon. Just twenty minutes from our home, I was able to dash over between sessions to observe the Day Support Options, a fairly ambiguous […]
She Rocked The House and Stole The Show: 6-19-11
Happy Father’s Day: We are all happy today. Much has come together for our daughter in the last week. At her father’s birthday party, many friends celebrated the finalizing of the apartment in Ridgefield. Several either live near by her future cozy home, or work nearby. Throughout the gentle summer evening, bits and pieces of […]
Keys To The Future: 6-16-11
We Passed: DDS inspected and approved the apartment yesterday. The girls have the go ahead to move in and a set of keys. Ability Beyond Disability expects us tomorrow to complete paper work. The phase of “Adult Independent Living” is officially launched! Funding and Outfitting Questions: In a brief conversation with our service provider, I […]
Job Description…Mom: 5-26-11
Geography: A challenging component of producing a rich program for our daughter is transportation. Several interesting offerings are miles apart. Volunteer jobs in animal settings with caring and willing staff may not be easy to find and one intriguing possibility is an hour south of here. The more local option works only with cats, and our […]
Parenting Adult Special Needs: One Day At A Time
Your Child Is Coming Back To A Town Near You — Or Maybe They Never Left: Our daughter is graduating this June from a special education boarding school and returning to her home state of Connecticut after five years living with peers in a dormitory setting where all needs were met: academic, social and vocational. […]